The Holier Than Thou Radio Guy

Asking forgiveness, Septuagenarian style: In this chapter, the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Chapter 3 – Asking forgiveness

I want to insert a disclaimer at this point. The Jay K in this chapter of my book is NOT Jay Kramer.

After a lot of frustration and oftentimes anger, I began to realize what it was I needed to do to feel that I was in control of my life. I needed to ask forgiveness of those whom I have may have harmed in one way or another during my life time.

I decided to start the ball rolling by asking forgiveness from a guy that I will call Radio Guy.

I needed to ask forgiveness to those who I felt I had been harboring a grudge with me over something I may have done to them so I started with Radio Guy. The key to asking forgiveness is that you must know what it is you have done in order to ask forgiveness.

Now that I’m a septuagenarian I find myself being able to forgive, or at least I try to forgive when I feel the need to. But, remember, you cannot forgive if there is no one willing to let you forgive.

That is why I decided to tell you the story about my asking forgiveness from Radio Guy.
I am beginning to recognize that I don’t necessarily care about holding back my feelings for someone or something in order for me to forgive or for me to ask for forgiveness and that is what I tried to do with Radio Guy – ask forgiveness.

Since becoming a septuagenarian, I seem to find it easier to say what I want to say, especially with people that I do not care a heck of a lot about. I guess I am not quite as sensitive about hurting their feelings if I feel it needs to be said.

I’ve noticed that in the past I have tried not to make an enemy of someone even when I know that particular someone is not my friend and will never be my friend. I have always tried to pretend that I am above all of that nonsense called …”.I don’t really like you but I’ll be phony” by being polite and nice and smile and well, you know the drill.

Let me explain this attitude that I am acquiring of not really caring if I hurt someone’s feelings or not by being truthful. I don’t mean to sound rude about this but…..saying what you want to say even though it is probably going to piss off the other person, that’s what I mean by truthful.

This is now a part of what I am and I rather like that new me. I knew that once I learned to say it as it is and to ask forgiveness if I have harmed someone that life could get easier. That is why I use Radio Guy as my example of asking for forgiveness.

Let me explain. There’s this guy who has a local radio show in town and he has decided to be rude, cold, very condescending to me over the past few years so I decided to find out why, especially since we tended to run in the same circles. It was getting harder and harder to be polite to a guy who was rude as hell to me but again, I say, it seemed to be time for me to try to bury the hatchet.

I knew Radio Guy would be reluctant to come forward and admit to me what it was he was not liking about me or what it was that I did to him. So his lack of courage to face his own demons did not surprise me in the least. In fact, it is at that point when I called him on the phone to ask his forgiveness and he blew me off….it was at that moment that I realized I was the strong one and he merely showed me how weak and frail he was and especially how ego driven he was with regards to me, and others, I might add.

As I said, Radio Guy has a local talk radio show and he fancies calling himself the Mayor of the Airwaves. Well, let’s put it this way, it became apparent to me and to a lot of other folks in the community that he has taken a dislike to me.

Actually, now that I think about it, he probably never did like me. I have had to swallow and keep my mouth shut about this for so many years because he holds the bully pulpit for about six hours of radio talk time per day for so many years that any little bit of my trying to defend myself with him would be of no consequence – so why bother?

In fact, a truce of sorts would have been the smart move on my part and along that path of thinking that is why I choose to proceed with the Mayor of the Airwaves with my asking for forgiveness. Of course, this all took place when I became a septuagenarian – my move to call a truce.

My attitude started to change about being polite and mum regarding certain things and people so it was no surprise to me that I decided to try to bury the hatchet with Radio Guy.

Maybe in that way I would learn to like him again….that is, if we could both come to grips with why he treated me as badly as he did. Why the cold shoulder every time we were in the same room. During those years, about four or five years of his nasty, I remember going out of my way to say, hello Radio Guy, in front of others so he would be forced to return the greeting. He always jerked his head back as if to appear not to have noticed me and then he would reluctantly say, “Oh, hello” but never a conversation or a nicety like “how are you”.

Before I get too far into my story of my asking Radio Guy for forgiveness, let me mention that Radio Guy, aka the Mayor of the Airwaves or the Moron of the Airwaves as I will call him from this moment forward, is a bible thumping, would be preacher- holier than thou, born again something or other hypocrite. And that is the truth. There is hardly a guest to be heard on his radio show that is not asked this question….”.Have you given yourself to the lord?” I’m sure you have the picture.
Ok, let’s get back to my deciding to ask forgiveness and this is the way I did it. And, I might add, this all came from my heart at the time.

It was right after the Jewish Holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. We Jews are taught that when we ask forgiveness, we do not get forgiveness from G-d until such time that we ask for and get forgiveness directly from the person with whom we apparently have maligned. Actually, apologies and reconciliations are common during some Muslim holidays as well.

So, I got to thinking of the Moron of the Airwaves and what did I ever do to him so that I could ask his forgiveness. Perhaps then we might get on the path to forgiving each other. Since he was so openly a G-d fearing religious forgiving soul as he tells us every day on the air I called him on the phone and said to him, “hey, Radio Guy, this is Leah Zimmerman and since it is the holiest time of the year in my religion, and since it is told to us in the Torah that we need to ask for forgiveness in person, I would like to ask your forgiveness for whatever it is that has made you angry with me. However, I said to Radio Guy, you must first tell me what it is I have done or said so that I may ask your forgiveness.

Hmmm, says Radio Guy, I know there is something you have done that makes me not like you but, I will need to think on this and call you back. I said, great, and when you call me back then I will be able to ask your forgiveness if it is something I have said or done to you.

I felt good- I had made the first move and I felt it was only a matter of time when this will be cleared up and I could again say hello to Radio Guy and not worry about the cold shoulder from him. I never did want to be his best friend but I certainly did not ever intend to burn a bridge and that is what seemed to be the case in this instance.

Well, Radio Guy never did call me back. I did not lose any sleep over this however I probably knew better than he did the reasons he took a disliking to me. I think he was heavily under the influence of “alcheyhol” and other people’s opinions on issues that perhaps I differed with him on.

I really do have a pretty good idea of why the Moron of the Airwaves and I disagreed on over the years and I am smart enough to know that it probably always was a hands off relationship even though we ran in a lot of the same circles. Actually, I co-hosted his radio show on several occasions and wrote guest columns in his monthly magazine from time to time so we are not strangers.

In fact, the last guest column I wrote for him became a bone of contention because I took a jab at a former Mayor for spending $10 million of taxpayer’s money foolishly on a defunct golf course. After reading my guest column, this hot headed former female Mayor got mad at me for referring to this purchase of the golf course as her $10 million “boondoggle”. Apparently, after reading my guest column editorial, the almost impeached, former mayor, called Radio guy up in the middle of the night saying she would sue him for letting me write this about her. What a joke that was however, Radio guy never talked to me after that incident. He said I was evil for writing such a thing about her highness, the blond ex-mayor.

So, back to the story about the Moron of the Airwaves.

As I recall, another thing that upset Radio Guy happened a while back on Facebook. I was in a real pissing contest with a character named Jay K. on my Facebook home page about drug testing for welfare recipients. I remember the incident well. I was giving a thumbs up for testing people on welfare for drugs and Jay K. got into a frenzy with me because of my taking that stance and he gave me reason to believe that he might do harm to me based on my not agreeing with him. So, I unfriend him from my Facebook account. I also went to the sheriff’s office and reported him as someone that I feared might harm me.

Jay turned to his friend, the Moron of the Airwaves, and again started to bash me for not agreeing with him, and he asked the Radio Guy if he could duke it out with me on the Moron’s radio show. Radio Guy took Jay’s side in the argument, and disregarded this guy being someone to fear.

As a matter of fact, at that time, I googled Jay K and found he had been arrested and did time for assaulting an old lady. I was a septuagenarian at that time and yes, I really was a bit scared of him. Radio Guy more or less tried to paint me out to be a very un-compassionate person with regards to Jay, thus the cold shoulder from Radio guy continued.

As I said, Radio Guy gave me the cold shoulder for several reasons and if I had done something wrong to him I would certainly apologize but I never did think I did anything wrong.

I have learned that honesty is vital when making an apology and if you don’t accept responsibility or you’re not really sorry, any words you utter, no matter how carefully chosen, can seem insincere. In this instance, I believe Radio guy is not being honest or sincere, especially since I made the overture to apologize, if he could tell me what I was apologizing for.

Radio guy never did get back to me and about another year passed and though I had not thought of this for a while my memory was jogged when I read a recent headline in the local paper…..Vero Beach mayor (not the blond bombshell mayor) was threatened, police say…..
It is all about this Jay K character threatening the current Mayor of Vero Beach, saying he will kill the mayor etc. etc. Very similar to how he threatened me a few years back when Radio Guy chose to cold shoulder me due to him sticking up for the mister K guy.

After reading this article in the local paper about Jay K threatening the Mayor, I sent Radio Guy the newspaper article with the headline stating: Vero Beach Mayor threatened police say…..

Well, since I had given up on ever hearing back from Radio Guy as to what I have done to deserve his cold shoulder, I decided to remind him of this incident and maybe it would jog his memory as to one reason why he does not like me. I’m sure there are other reasons for his not liking me, but I choose to mention only these two incidents as to why I think the Moron of the Airwaves did not especially like me. I guess it all boils down to the fact that I just did not always agree with him about certain things and I was not ever going to be a yes sir, Mayor of the airwaves, type of person.

In the newspaper article the real mayor of Vero Beach said he is sleeping with a weapon nearby for the first time since he was in Vietnam because of an alleged threat on his life by this Jay K character.

I sent this newspaper article of the threat to the Mayor by Mr. K in an e-mail to Radio Guy because it reminded me of the time the Moron of the Airwaves stood up for the Jay guy with little or no compassion to how he scared me with threats.
This is what I typed in my e-mail to Radio Guy

Radio Guy,

Not that it matters to you but….this is one of several things that I feel you owe me an apology for.
I remember one time a while back when this character Jay K threatened me and got nasty with me (mostly on Facebook) and how you clearly took his side and befriended him while at the same time getting rude with me for not being cordial to him. At that time, Jay even suggested to me that we duke it out on your show.
Well, for your information Radio Guy, he scared me so much that I went to the sheriff’s office to report my fear of him and they sent me off with a simple, “sorry maam, there is nothing we can do because he has done you no harm”

After reading this article in the Press Journal, it all came back to me and I truly do pity the man because he is very troubled however, you do the community no good when you chastise all the rest of us who are afraid of him. I am pointing this out to you because you have been rude to me for many years and I believe this is one of the reasons you are rude to me…In other words, you chose sides and it was with him – not me.

If I were keeping score, this is one of the things that you should apologize to me for. Just saying.

Leah (name changed)

You did send me a reply to my e-mail and it reads as follows:

Leave me alone. I’m at a Funeral up north. Two sides to every story.

Sent from my iPad
Signed: Radio Guy

On Apr 26, 2013, at 9:18 AM, Leah Zimmerman wrote back on an e-mail:

Well, I got news for you Mr. Smarty Pants Radio Guy, bible thumping, would be preacher- holier than thou, born again something or other hypocrite. You are not dealing with the politically correct person I was a few years ago. I am now a septuagenarian and I don’t really care that you requested I leave you alone.

I am merely pointing out that in my opinion the weak can never forgive. “Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong” says Mahatma Gandhi.
And you, Radio Guy, are proving to me that you are weak because you will not forgive. In fact, you do not even have the strength to face the biggest weakness and that is your weakness to know why you stay mad at someone and why you will not open yourself up to allowing that someone to forgive you…..

Hey, Radio Guy, I will continue to awaken you to your hypocrisy any time I wish and it will not bother me one single bit because I am a septuagenarian and I have reached the age and stage in my life where I will say it when I feel like saying it and not really give a damn whether you ask me to leave you alone.

  1. Bea-isms says:

    I just read Curtis Carpenters FB post where Radio Guy has unfriended him based on Curtis not agreeing with him on something.

    The posts by Curtis’ friends are amazingly accurate with my assessment of Radio Guy.

    Makes me smile to know I was not the only one who felt this way about the Moron of the Airwaves.

    I guess after the responses to CC’s Facebook stream, it is now public knowledge that there is a Moron of the Airwaves and yes, Bob Soos can be officially called the new Mayor of the Airwaves.

  2. Cathy Katrovitz says:

    You are truly a strong person, Bea. Well-written Bea-ism. I was surprised to read the FB comments myself–had not known how other people felt, but we stopped including in our lives the person of whom you were speaking. There was no good purpose. Hoping he can come to terms with whatever is holding him captive.

  3. Victor Poindexter says:

    Bea;

    Don’t know why people waste any energy on this buffoon. He has been a lone pimple on this communities otherwise beautiful complexion.

    For the record, I referred to him as the moron of the airwaves almost a decade ago. At the end of the day, he’s just a song and dance man.

  4. Cedric says:

    Bea, I wished you had used a different fake name rather than Jay K. The real Jay K that we know is a fine gentleman who is a really nice person. The uninformed may not grasp the name you used was fake. Keep writing

  5. Bea-isms says:

    Cedric, the guys name is Jayson and I just out of expediency used his initials as my fake name ploy. You are right, it does not bode well for Jay Kramer if someone wants to read that into my post but I can honestly say it is not him. I will go back and change it at a later date. Thanks for the heads up.

    As you know this post was a post of a chapter in my book about Septuagenarian’s and I could not resist posting it about that Moron of the airwaves.

  6. Bea-isms says:

    Victor,

    I really did forget that it was you who dubbed him “the Moron of the Airwaves” those many years ago. Many times I was accused of calling him that (by him) and that I should stop. Each time that I was accused I told him I did not call him that….it was a name that one of my bloggers dubbed on him.

    So, Victor, good for you. You had this buffoon figured out then years ago. LOL

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